Tuesday | March 19, 2024
Dean Proposes Dance-Off For Democratic Prize

WASHINGTON (CAP) - Seeing no end in sight to the virtual deadlock between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in the race for the Democratic nominaion, DNC chairman Howard Dean crawled out of his party-imposed exile and proposed a Britney Spears-Justin Timberlake-style 'Dance Off' to settle the issue.

Dean managed to slip the straitjacket and dug out his old JC Penny suits for a series of interviews on the 24-hour cable networks where he called out both candidates to "Grind for the Prize."

When asked where the Dance Off should take place, Dean gleefully began listing off a series of destinations that began with: "We're going to California, and Texas, and New York! Then we're going to South Dakota, and Oregon, and Washington, and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House!"

Tired and chagrined cable hosts then quickly cut off Dean and apologized to viewers for falling for the Scream King's favorite routine. Late reports have Dean resting comfortably under sedation at a group home in Vermont.

Clinton supporters immediately denounced the Dance Off idea as giving Obama an inherent advantage. Former president Bill Clinton noted that Jesse Jackson had won similar Dance Offs in South Carolina in 1984 and 1988.

The Obama camp was more receptive to the challenge, never having received an official response from Clinton after challenging her to a breakdancing duel. However, some advisers were reportedly concerned that Clinton's bountiful backside could sway judges and cut into his strong support among black male voters.

- CAP News Staff

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