Monday | March 2, 2015
Govt Raises Bin Laden Bounty With New Lottery

LAWRENCEVILLE, NJ (CAP) - Lottery officials have confirmed that the U.S. government is sanctioning a new lottery game, the proceeds of which will go toward an increased bounty for the capture of Osama bin Laden. Payouts on the Osama bin Lotto game easily exceed $100,000, but scratching off the wrong spot could cost you a finger.

"We needed something to make this game stand out among the thousands that consumers can choose from," said New Jersey Lottery Commission spokesperson Marc Reinart. "So we upped the max payout, increased the frequency of payouts, and added a little risk to make it interesting."

The risk to which Reinart refers is a pinch of powdered incendiary mixed in with the tin-like substance used on the scratch ticket itself. If the player scratches off the wrong spot on the card, the friction ignites the powder and creates a small explosion.

The ACLU has already filed a lawsuit to prevent distribution of the new tickets, saying it's "just another case of the government preying on the poor."

"Do rich people buy lottery tickets? No," said ACLU spokesperson Jennifer Whiting. "Do rich people need their fingers? Not as much as poor people, no. And we'll prove it in court."

The game has already featured two winners in a special test run throughout a handful of locations in New Jersey. The first winner, an 18-year-old Jersey City man, collected $250,000 with only the loss of the tip of his index finger. The other winner, a 43-year-old Paterson man, wore heavy gloves while scratching his $100,000 ticket and escaped with only third-degree burns to the back of his hand.

"Our window of opportunity is very small as people will eventually figure out how to game the system," said Reinart. He cited examples of videos posted to Metacafe and Youtube that explain how to use blacklights and metal detectors to figure out which cards have the scratch bombs.

Reinart said when the game rolls out to a dozen other states within the next couple of months, they hope to have the powder formula altered enough to render the so-called "scratch bomb hacks" moot.

"I mean, come on," said Reinart, "isn't that hundred grand just a little bit nicer when you know you've truly earned it?"

- CAP News Staff

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President Obama urging Americans to take part in the Homeland Security magazine drive to help fund the country's anti-terrorism efforts after the department's budget runs out this Friday «» President Obama concludes trip through Midwest to explain salient points from State Of The Union for that part of the country that only reads at a third grade level «» American comedians announce indefinite hiatus on "smelly Frenchman" jokes to give nation time to heal, will heckle Portuguese instead «» U.S. State Department denies it is behind putting glue on Kim Jong-un's toilet seat, where he was stuck for nine hours yesterday «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «» FCC rules Internet providers must stream all porn at the same speed, whether it's hot babes or skanky ho's «» Rudy Giuliani says President Obama does not love parades; White House calls the accusation "ludicrous" #ObamaLovesAParade «»