Sunday | May 24, 2015
Benazir Bhutto Sex Tape Rocks Pakistan

LAHORE, Pakistan (CAP) - Scandal continues to plague the once-quiet nation of Pakistan as rumors began circulating around the Internet of a videotape containing the sexual exploits of former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. And then late yesterday, a copy of the purported sex tape was delivered to the Pakistani offices of the CAP News International Bureau.

"Mmm, oohh, oh, oh, oh yeah, overthrow me, overthrow me," Bhutto can be heard moaning on the grainy tape, which CAP News officials watched over and over again in an attempt to confirm its authenticity.

Bhutto, currently under house arrest, added fuel to the political fire in Pakistan when she called on President Pervez Musharraf to step down. The timing of the tape's release leads some pundits to believe that the lusty brunette getting jiggy with a burka may not be Bhutto and that the tape may be Musharraf propaganda.

"What Musharraf is doing is, he's saying, Benazir, your politics may suck, but that thing you did with the ice cube on the tape - that did not suck at all," said analyst Rahim Usama. "Well, maybe suck is not the right word, but you know what I mean."

Reaction from the political landscape has been mixed, with world leaders who already support Musharraf's emergency rule in that nation calling for Bhutto's continued exile, while her supporters are crying foul and requesting copies of the tape.

"I think everybody today, when this tape came out, was taken somewhat by surprise, and very concerned," said a Western diplomat who asked not to be identified. "Now political leaders are asking why, why not me. Why couldn't I have been the one fondling Benazir in that tape?"

US officials confirmed that the State Department was dispatching diplomat John Negroponte to Pakistan to press Musharraf to forge an elected civilian government by making a new tape with Bhutto to show just how well they can get along.

"He has declared that he'll take off his uniform and that there will be erections," said President Bush. "So to you, Mr Musharraf, I say, if you want peace, if you want prosperity - tear down those undies."

The Bush administration is backing a revenue-sharing arrangement as a way to turn the negative publicity of the tape into some much needed cash for the poverty-stricken country.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE world NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» New warning issued by U.S. State Department says Iran just 3 to 4 years away from developing microwave popcorn that doesn't burn when overcooked «» White House upset President Obama wasn't told Benjamin Netanyahu would be guest caller for Congressional Bingo Night «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «»
ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» New warning issued by U.S. State Department says Iran just 3 to 4 years away from developing microwave popcorn that doesn't burn when overcooked «» White House upset President Obama wasn't told Benjamin Netanyahu would be guest caller for Congressional Bingo Night «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «»