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LAS VEGAS (CAP) - OJ Simpson's upcoming trial for armed robbery could be over before it even starts if his legal team cannot wrap the crux of their entire case into an easy-to-remember rhyme, according to a report from the American Bar Association.
In the comprehensive report, a 13-member panel of the bar association said Simpson's use of a rhyming couplet during his 1994 trial for murder directly or indirectly led to his acquittal. The report stated his defense "would be wise to utilize the same strategy again this time."
"With two of OJ's codefendants set to testify against him, he needs every angle he can find," said CAP News legal analyst Maury Shankar. "If not a rhyming couplet, perhaps a haiku or limerick, or even a quatrain.
"The bottom line is that it must be catchy," Shankar added.
Shankar warns against the use of more complicated forms of poetry, such as rondelets or sonnets or the often misunderstood terzanelle. He said in previous cases where verse was used yet the defendant was still convicted, "the longer the rhyme, the longer the time."
Chad Barlowe of the National Association For Rhyming Public Defendants said when he first heard about OJ's recent arrest, he fully expected to get a call. However, co-creator of the famous legal phrase, "Do the crime, do the time" said the phone never rang.
"Sure, I'm no Johnny Cochran, but I really think we could have done well by him," Barlowe told CAP News. "Check this out. He didn't take the shit, therefore you must acquit. Not bad, eh?"
In their report, the ABA also advocates doubling the number of attorneys that Simpson currently has and pleading to the jury that he can't continue to look for the real killers of his ex-wife and Ron Goldman if he's sent to jail.
Additionally, both Toyota and Nissan have reportedly offered to pay for Simpson's legal fees if he'll take a long, slow ride in one of their vehicles.
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