Friday | May 22, 2015
Bitching, Moaning Up Considerably, Study Shows
UMass Boston researchers present their findings to the CAP News staff during a recent Lunch n Learn.

BOSTON, Mass. (CAP) - Researchers at the University of Massachusetts in Boston have released the findings of this year's study on human attitude management. The results show both bitching and moaning up a considerable amount over last year's survey, while moaning with associated pissing is down slightly.

"People just have more to complain about these days," said lead researcher Dr. Rex Lucent. "And with the advent of internet-based technologies, they also have more means by which to do that complaining.

"We've really entered a new age of bitching and moaning," Lucent added.

The six-month study involved interviews with and observation of 756 people and focused on six high-profile methods of complaining: grumbling, whining, bitching, pissing, moaning and groaning. Social psychologists said the results continue to follow yearly predictable trends.

"Back in the '70s, we whined about things. And then in the '80s, we got kinda bitchy," said psychologist Dr. Lars Nelson. "But by the time Clinton took office, we began complaining so much we had to combine methods. Since then it's been a constant battle to see what goes best with moaning."

The study also broke down some of the top areas of complaining, the list of which was topped for the tenth straight year by the weather. "It doesn't matter what time of year it is or where in the country you're located, all people do is complain about the weather," said Lucent. Other high-volume topics included spam email, traffic, reality TV, and "people who just don't get it." And while one subject has been noticeably absent from the list for a few years, another is taking its place.

"Back when President Bush was in office, he was consistently number one," said Lucent. "In fact, we had to more or less retire him to our little honorary hall of fame because he was so far off the top of the charts that it skewed the rest of the results.

"But now President Obama is rapidly climbing toward the top," Lucent added. "For his sake, it's good to see him doing well in some sort of poll, even if it's about how bad people think he's doing."

According to the study, so-called online "social networks" have taken over as the number one vehicle for complaining. Instant messaging in the corporate setting remains a close second, while texting enters the list for the first time at number three. The telephone, once a staple of the complainer, fell to a distant eighth.

The study will be published in the next issue of the journal American Behavioral Scientist.

- CAP News Staff

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America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» New York latest state to ban sneezing while driving, calling it the third most distracting event for drivers behind texting and masturbation «» Justice Department issues subpoena for all computer files related to Hillary Clinton's 2012 online journal, "My Benghazi Blog" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «»