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LAS VEGAS (CAP) - In an effort to regain her status as "The Queen of Pop," Britney Spears has signed on as the opening act at this year's MTV Video Music Awards, slated to take place at The Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. CAP News has confirmed that Spears' claims that her performance is going to "shock the world" are completely accurate.
"It's absolutely unbelievable," said CAP News Senior Correspondent Ty Havercamp, who was the only reporter invited to attend a recent Spears rehearsal at the Edge Performing Arts Center in Los Angeles. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Viewers are going to be blown away."
Over the years, gossip columnists have learned to expect the unexpected from Spears, but lately that has centered around things like attacking an SUV with an umbrella, shaving her head, and facing accusations that she doesn't bathe her children or brush their teeth.
"These things have all left the public with the impression that she's nothing more than a psychotic, drug-crazed, trailer-trash hick from Louisiana," said Havercamp. "And while that's true, this one performance is going to change all that."
According to Havercamp, Spears will come out on stage fully dressed in a smart, navy blue Armani business suit, including underwear. She'll then proceed to read the first twenty pages of A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, currently #1 on the NY Times Best Seller list.
And then she'll wrap up her performance with questions from the audience and share her opinions about the history of conflict in Afghanistan, "a topic of which she is surprisingly knowledgeable," said Havercamp.
"I promise you," added Havercamp, "you will never look at Britney Spears the same way again."
The VMAs will air live on MTV at 9pm ET on September 9.