Thursday | March 28, 2024
Tom Brady Sets NFL Record For Babies Fathered
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FOXBORO, Mass. (CAP) - New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has set a new NFL single-season record by having fathered at least two children during the 2006 season. The record was confirmed by the NFL Official Statistics Group late yesterday.

"We are proud that the NFL's favorite son is now going to be the NFL's favorite father," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "And we are happy to bestow this record-setting honor upon Tom Brady."

Brady breaks the old record of one set by eight members of the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers. It's long been believed that the "Steel Curtain" defense fathered a total of 13 children that season, but a lack of modern DNA testing has left that as only speculation.

Pundits point to the recent Brady fatherhood news as proof positive that Tom Terrific is not gay, or "at least straight in a Tom Cruise sort of way," said gossip columnist Liz Everhart. However, rumors that Patriots center Dan Koppen is also carrying Brady's baby dispute that stance.

"Hey, what can I say, Tom's a great guy," said Koppen as he rubbed his swollen feet. "Who wouldn't want to get in bed with that kind of money?"

Whether the Koppen rumors pan out or not, bloggers are jumping all over Brady's in-season extracurricular activities as the reason behind the Patriots' playoff demise. An internet task force has formed to investigate with whom John Elway might have spent his time during the 1986 through 1989 seasons - years during which he lost three of four Superbowls.

Reports that New England owner Robert Kraft has asked the league to schedule two bye weeks for the Patriots this fall so Brady can attend the christenings of both children remain unfounded at this time.

- CAP News Staff

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