IRVINE, Calif. (CAP) - When Rudy McNamara received his Ann Coulter doll in the mail from eBay, he knew exactly what he wanted it to do.
"I wanted it to bitch at liberals, call 'em moronistic and fag lovers and what not," McNamara said from his home in Bent Handle, Texas. "What I actually got was something pretty different."
Officials at the Justice Department have opened an investigation into what appears to be a widespread tampering case involving Ann Coulter dolls made by the Irvine, California company, Talking Presidents. Instead of their usual pro-right-wing sloganeering, the dolls, to a doll, have been delivering a much different message.
"Just listen to this crap," McNamara said as he tugged at the doll's string.
"Let's be lipstick lesbians!"
"I've got rug burns on my tongue ... mmm."
"Mrs. And Mrs. Coulter, I can't wait to be married!"
A spokesman for Talking Presidents calls the timing of the dolls' linguistic revolt highly questionable. It was mere days ago that conservative commentator Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot" while addressing the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).
"Ann says something a bit funny about the homosexual community and within days all her dolls are gay? Yeah, we're a little skeptical," said spokesman Arty Ryan. Ryan said the company is looking into the tampering situation and plans an immediate recall to reprogram the Coulter dolls.
For conservatives like Rudy McNamara though, the company's actions come too late.
"I'll still keep it naked on the shelf up there with my Dixie stuff, but I ain't ever pulling that string again," McNamara said.
- Rich Gray
Contributing Writer