Saturday | November 22, 2014
Elmer's To Create Special Glue In Memory Of Barbaro

COLUMBUS, Ohio (CAP) - Elmer's Products, makers of such household items as Elmer's Glue-All, Krazy Glue and X-Acto Knives, has announced the launch of a new product line in memory of race horse Barbaro. Barbaro's Best will be the first in a series of special-edition Elmer's Gold adhesives.

"Everyone wanted a piece of Barbaro while he was alive, and now with our new special edition adhesive, just about everyone can have a piece of him in his death," said Elmer's Products CEO Ronald Kesselman in a statement.

Elmer's outbid dog food manufacturer Purina Mills in a secret auction held by Barbaro owners Roy and Gretchen Jackson, obtaining the rights to the horse's remains for an unspecified amount of money. The news was made public by the website, therecentlyfiredpistol.com, who said the amount topped $2.5 million.

"Well, the horse is out of the barn, so to speak," said Gretchen Jackson. "What were we going to do, just bury him? We wanted to come up with a way to honor his memory for as long as possible, and felt this was the best way. And the cash was nice, too."

Elmer's has begun production of seven-ounce tubes of glue made from a combination of the Kentucky Derby winner's remains and a number of synthetic ingredients. The limited run of 250,000 is expected to be on store shelves in time for back-to-school sales late this summer.

Elmer's is also allegedly close to a number of deals that would secure the rights to the bodies of other Derby winners after they die, including 2004 winner Smarty Jones and 2001 winner Monarchos. CAP News has not yet confirmed reports that Elmer's and Churchill Downs are working on an agreement that would allow the company to unearth the remains of past Derby winners buried on the grounds.

Barbaro's Best will retail for $2.69 and will come with a numbered letter of authenticity.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE sports NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2014 BY CAP NEWS
Quarterback Peyton Manning asks to join Detroit Lions "just for this week" so he can try one more time to beat the Patriots «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» Pope Francis gives America nine months to "clean up your gays" ahead of his visit next fall «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «»
Quarterback Peyton Manning asks to join Detroit Lions "just for this week" so he can try one more time to beat the Patriots «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» Pope Francis gives America nine months to "clean up your gays" ahead of his visit next fall «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «»