Tuesday | September 2, 2014
Bolton To Become First Diplonaut
John Bolton

WASHINGTON (CAP) - Shortly after NASA announced that it was moving ahead with plans to build a permanent manned moon base by 2024, President Bush nominated outgoing U.N. ambassador John Bolton to the position of U.S. ambassador to the Moon.

"Boltie's doing a heck of a job at the U.N., and he'll do a heck of a job on the moon," President Bush said yesterday following a meeting with Iraqi Fallback Option #6 Leader Malahahalaha Qhamad. "He's a man of fine character, uh, a gooder, gooder man. He'll keep those Moonians in line."

Political insiders are viewing this appointment very favorably, with many feeling that Bolton's inability to get along with others and his brusque style are well-suited for the diplomatic intricacies that will be encountered on the desolate, deserted lunar landscape.

And they're not alone.

Unlike his ascension to the position of U.N. ambassador in August 2005 by recess appointment, Bolton is expected to easily win confirmation in the new democratically-controlled Senate.

"I personally have no problem sending John Bolton to the moon," said Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT). "Hell, I'll buy the friggin' ticket."

The Senate is slated to begin considering Bolton for the position of U.S. ambassador to the Moon in March, 2023.

- Rich Gray
Contributing Writer

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