NEW YORK (CAP) - Seeking to fill the timeslot left vacant by their decision not to air an interview with OJ Simpson, Fox Broadcasting has announced they will instead air a new Christmas special hosted by OJ. If I Celebrated It will take a hypothetical look at how OJ would spend his time were he to observe the Christian holiday.
"We understand now that people don't want to watch OJ talk about the murders," said Fox CEO Rupert Murdoch. "But who doesn't want to watch OJ carve up a nice turkey for Christmas dinner? Only heathens, that's who."
Heathens, and perhaps the rest of the Fox News on-air staff. On their shows following this latest announcement, Greta Van Susteren, Geraldo Rivera and Bill O'Reilly all continued to rail against Fox's choice of programming.
"The callous disregard with which this supposed fair and balanced network throws its liberal darts at the secular conservative scheduling agenda simply astounds me," said O'Reilly during last night's broadcast. "If they think for one minute - umm, what was I talking about? I forget. Oh, yeah - buy my book."
In addition to OJ himself, the 90-minute live special also guest stars former NFL star Rae Carruth, actor Robert Blake, and Cher. According to a cut sheet obtained by CAP News, OJ will sing a duet with Cher entitled, Walking In A Bloody Wonderland:
In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that it is Nicole Brown.
She'll say, "You're a killer!"
We'll say, "No, man!
But if I did it, here's how it went down.
On the walkway, she'll expire.
The guy who did it is a liar.
Then he'll kill her friend,
The blood flows without end,
Walking in a bloody wonderland.
If I Celebrated It airs Sunday at 9pm ET following an encore presentation of Holy Foley: A Very Mark Foley Christmas.
- CAP News Staff