LANDOVER, Md. (CAP) - In a move meant to help bolster a struggling passing game, the Washington Redskins have announced the signing of actress Denise Richards to replace Mark Brunell at the helm. Redskins officials said the move will actually serve multiple purposes.
"Listen, we know throwing a laptop is not akin to throwing a spiral," said Washington coach Joe Gibbs following the announcement. "But as our season tanks, can you think of anything better than Denise Richards reaching down between Casey Rabach's legs every Sunday afternoon? I know Casey can't."
Gibbs said the team will adjust their offensive scheme to fit Richards' playing style. He said he expects offensive coordinator Al Saunders to have their altered wishboner offense in place for this Sunday's game. Mark Brunell isn't so sure the new plan will fly.
"Richards throws like a girl," said Brunell at the press conference. "But then again, so do I. I dunno, maybe she'll let me carry her jockstrap."
DC-area sports radio was abuzz with the news this morning, at least momentarily quelling demands for Gibbs' head or Portis' good hand. Callers generally agreed that while it remains to be seen what affect Richards will have on the field, her presence will definitely be felt in the locker room.
Richards said she looks forward to being under center for the Redskins. In fact, she said she's happy to position herself under anyone on the offensive line if it means helping out the team.
- CAP News Staff