Monday | March 30, 2015
Kevin Federline To Move In With Vanilla Ice
A clearly Photoshopped picture provided to CAP News by Kevin Federline shows what he says is "just how tite me and Ise is."

CARROLLTON, Tex. (CAP) - Just days after receiving his divorce papers from wife Britney Spears, Kevin Federline has now received his walking papers. Britney has reportedly changed the locks on their Malibu home, effectively kicking the rap star to the curb.

However, according to CAP News Entertainment Editor Greta Von Cistern, he won't be homeless for long.

"I'm told that Rob Van Winkle, known better as Vanilla Ice, has opened his home to K-Fed until he can get on his feet," said Von Cistern. "And with the blistering sales of his Playing With Fire album, that shouldn't be long."

Von Cistern said it is ironic to hear of Vanilla Ice helping K-Fed get on his feet, considering that Ice has been living in the basement of his mother's Texas home for the past eight years. A call to Mrs. Van Winkle confirmed the arrangement.

"Well, moms upped my rent, yo, but I couldn't get no raise from those beeyotches at 7-to-the-1-1," Ice told Von Cistern over the phone. "Fed's got the dough, yo, so he be gettin' the top bunk.

"Yo, I'll be off in a sec, ma!" Ice yelled away from the phone. "Listen, I gotta go."

Ice's Carrollton home isn't the only offer Federline has received for a place to lay his head. The Home For Little White Rappers said they, too, extended a helping hand to the former back-up dancer, but so far haven't heard back from him.

"We've had a bed waiting for Eminem for quite some time," said Home spokesperson Rhiannon Winters, "but he hasn't needed it yet. So we're more than happy to offer Marshall's bed to Kevin for the time being."

Winters said if both Federline and Ice end up needing a place, they can easily squeeze in another bed between Pete Nice and Mike D.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE showbiz NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
Ashton Kutcher says he's honored but confused why President Obama would appoint him the next Defense Secretary, but is glad to have something lined up now that 'Two And A Half Men' is over «» Boston judge pardons Mark Wahlberg for 1991 incident in which he attempted to impersonate a singer by releasing "Good Vibrations" «» The X-Files returning to Fox with all-new characters E-Cigarette Man, Dentures Man, and Edward Snowden as leader of the reconstituted Lone Gunmen «» AC-DC accepts invite to play Coachella 2015, requests to be off stage by 7pm before they become "cranky and irritable" from being up too late «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» Ted Cruz says he wants to become president so his dog can pee on the White House lawn «»
Ashton Kutcher says he's honored but confused why President Obama would appoint him the next Defense Secretary, but is glad to have something lined up now that 'Two And A Half Men' is over «» Boston judge pardons Mark Wahlberg for 1991 incident in which he attempted to impersonate a singer by releasing "Good Vibrations" «» The X-Files returning to Fox with all-new characters E-Cigarette Man, Dentures Man, and Edward Snowden as leader of the reconstituted Lone Gunmen «» AC-DC accepts invite to play Coachella 2015, requests to be off stage by 7pm before they become "cranky and irritable" from being up too late «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» Ted Cruz says he wants to become president so his dog can pee on the White House lawn «»