Monday | May 25, 2015
Kevin Federline To Move In With Vanilla Ice
A clearly Photoshopped picture provided to CAP News by Kevin Federline shows what he says is "just how tite me and Ise is."

CARROLLTON, Tex. (CAP) - Just days after receiving his divorce papers from wife Britney Spears, Kevin Federline has now received his walking papers. Britney has reportedly changed the locks on their Malibu home, effectively kicking the rap star to the curb.

However, according to CAP News Entertainment Editor Greta Von Cistern, he won't be homeless for long.

"I'm told that Rob Van Winkle, known better as Vanilla Ice, has opened his home to K-Fed until he can get on his feet," said Von Cistern. "And with the blistering sales of his Playing With Fire album, that shouldn't be long."

Von Cistern said it is ironic to hear of Vanilla Ice helping K-Fed get on his feet, considering that Ice has been living in the basement of his mother's Texas home for the past eight years. A call to Mrs. Van Winkle confirmed the arrangement.

"Well, moms upped my rent, yo, but I couldn't get no raise from those beeyotches at 7-to-the-1-1," Ice told Von Cistern over the phone. "Fed's got the dough, yo, so he be gettin' the top bunk.

"Yo, I'll be off in a sec, ma!" Ice yelled away from the phone. "Listen, I gotta go."

Ice's Carrollton home isn't the only offer Federline has received for a place to lay his head. The Home For Little White Rappers said they, too, extended a helping hand to the former back-up dancer, but so far haven't heard back from him.

"We've had a bed waiting for Eminem for quite some time," said Home spokesperson Rhiannon Winters, "but he hasn't needed it yet. So we're more than happy to offer Marshall's bed to Kevin for the time being."

Winters said if both Federline and Ice end up needing a place, they can easily squeeze in another bed between Pete Nice and Mike D.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE showbiz NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «»
Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «»