Thursday | December 8, 2016
Bush Finally Agrees To Address NAMBLA
President Bush announces the recipient of the 2006 Michael Jackson NAMBLA Man Of The Year award at the group's recent conference.

JAMAICA, NY (CAP) - With a toast of champagne to the men and a tip of the hat to the boys, George W. Bush became the first sitting president to speak at the annual convention of the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Members hope he's not the last.

"After the President finally gave in to the NAACP, the phones rang off the hook," said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. "OSHA, PETA, RIF - but we decided to start with NAMBLA. President Bush loves the kids - he'd do anything for them."

During the speech, President Bush outlined his "No child from behind" initiative and said he would seek federal funding for the group to make up for its 2007 budget shortfall. Bush noted that while membership has been down in past years, recent advances on the internet should help them make up ground quickly.

Bush also lamented the fact that he never had a son, and said he wished groups like NAMBLA existed when he was a boy seeking direction in his life.

"We as a society worry every day who's keeping an eye on our children," President Bush told the crowd before leading them in a rendition of Camptown Races. "You are. You are watching out for them. And for that, I say thank you."

Members extended an offer to Bush to join them in this week-end's campout at Juniper Woods in the Catskills. However, the President declined, saying he had a brush-clearing ceremony to oversee at his ranch in Crawford, Tex.

- CAP News Staff

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