Tuesday | March 19, 2024
Anderson Cooper "Accidentally" Deported
Despite attempts to show border guards his ID, reporter Anderson Cooper is hauled away and shipped back to Mexico.

TIJUANA, MEXICO (CAP) - After months of watching CNN "It" anchor Anderson Cooper report from the United States/Mexico border for hours on end nearly every evening, the U.S. National Guard troops sent to patrol the area yesterday deported the demure journalist to Mexico as their first official act in the region.

"He's here every day and night, he's always wandering around in those tunnels, going back and forth between the countries," reasoned Lieutenant Prick Masterson. "We figured he had to be up to no good."

Fellow CNN staffers have rallied to the defense of their colleague, an American citizen, whose steely-blue eyes and premature, yet distinguished, gray hair contrasted him from the rest of the 112 initial deportees loaded into the 54-seat bus.

"There may be a lot of deviant stuff going on with that dude," a CNN producer said, "but being an illegal alien ain't one of them."

Though Masterson acknowledged that Cooper "probably isn't really Mexican," he stood by his decision to deport him.

"I see the guy on TV and there's just something about him that bugs me," he said, "really bugs me."

- CAP News Staff

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