Wednesday | April 1, 2015
Bush: Guard Clearing Away Brush, Not Illegals

YUMA, Ariz. (CAP) - Stung by criticism from Mexican President Vicente Fox and members of Congress over his plans to send 6000 National Guard troops to the Mexican/US border, President Bush yesterday sought to define exactly how narrow their role would be.

"They're just gonna be clearing brush so we can build that big honkin' fence," the President told a wildly-cheering hand-picked crowd outside a Home Depot gardening center in Yuma. It was the President's second trip to Yuma in as many weeks.

"There's no militarizationing here. We're talkin' Mexican pinyon, Apache pine, Mohave, uh, ragweed. Comprende, omegas? They won't be here to shoot at those illegal immigrates," President Bush said before leading his weed wacker-wielding minions out behind the Home Depot to launch Operation Brush-B-Gone.

Corporal Lance Daniels of the 41st Armored Woodchipping Brigade, stationed just south of Yuma, agreed with the President.

"We're not here to shoot at anyone. I see one of them little bastards scurrying across the border, though, and I will take after him with a chainsaw."

The clearing of brush should take about two months. The building of the fence by the Dancing Latino Electric Fencing Company (a subsidiary of Halliburton) is scheduled to be completed by early 2008.

- Rich Gray
Contributing Writer

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