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Bush Leaks Location Of Eggs
WASHINGTON (CAP) - White House officials on Monday admitted that President Bush again was responsible for leaking secret information. Only this time, the subject was not yellow cake, but orange egg.
"President Bush did indeed leak the location of several Easter eggs today to the gathered children," Scott McClellan admitted during a hastily-assembled press conference. "I would not categorize him, as some irresponsible journalists have, as a serial leaker.
"He was just trying to give the Americans assembled all the information that he had," noted McClellan.
Several sources in the gay and lesbian community were quick to point out that Bush did not leak egg location information to any of the children of the many gay and lesbian couples that were present. Those attendees all wore rainbow leis to mark their gayitude and lesbianization.
"It was pretty obvious that he was moving through the crowd, ignoring the children that were with single-sex parents and whispering in the ears of the kids standing with quote-unquote normal parents," said Ted Fielding of the Houston Organizational Web for Gays (HOWGay).
"Huge surprise, my Teddy Jr. got one egg, while some of the children of straight parents needed secret service to help them get their eggs out the gate," Fielding added.
President Bush defended his actions on Monday.
"Look, I was trying to help. I'm a compassionate guy," Bush said as he took a break from judging the Cutest Christian Kid In A Bunny Costume competition. "On Easter, Jesus rose and ... God said to me just last night that, uh ... terrorism ... WMD is hard to find, and if big bombs hide, how much gooder can eggs?"
In terms of targeting the children of straight parents, Bush had a ready explanation.
"I once choked on a rainbow lei. Things scare the heck out of me, heh heh. Uh oh, Dick is trying to shoot Scotty the Easter Bunny. Gotta go!"
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