- Coca-Cola, Pepsi To Start Using Less Battery Acid
- Wal-Mart Arms Greeters With Semi-Automatic Guns
- Burglars Pull Off $37 Heist From Dollar Store
WEYMOUTH, Mass. (CAP) - Misty Daniels is just like you and me. When she gets drunk and hops into some guy's bed, the guy takes her pants off one leg at a time. But this 33-year-old has done something most of us only dream of, coming just an LSD hit away from representing her country at the Olympic games.
"Every time I visited her in jail, mama always said I could do anything I want," said Misty between drags on a Marlboro. "Course, it was more like, 'I don't care, do whatever you want,' but I took it to heart."
And she took it to a local golf course, where Misty and a bunch of friends would often smoke a joint and go sledding at night. During one particularly adventurous evening, Misty went down a hill, across a frozen stream and into a grove of trees - all while riding head first on her stomach, on just a plastic trash bag.
Friends said she should take up Skeleton, and after she got out of the neck brace, she did.
The adversity Misty faced throughout training would have made lesser athletes quit: three trespassing charges from the golf course, an addiction to painkillers for her neck, and then...
"I missed the tryouts because they were the day after I had my abortion," Misty said as she popped the top of a Schlitz. "I couldn't skip it. I mean, I already have four kids." She looked around her studio apartment. "I think it's four."
Misty doped herself up good so she could compete with little pain, but her dreams came to an end when she was picked up by police while hitchhiking along Route 95. She said she doesn't have any regrets.
"Maybe I didn't make the Olympics, but you know what they say - at least I have my health. Well, except for the syphilis. But other than that, I mean."
- CAP News Staff