Friday | July 3, 2015
Justice League Denounces Cartoon Violence
The SuperFriends monitor a burning effigy in Pakistan as they draft their resolution condemning the violence.

METROPOLIS (CAP) - The Justice League Of America today condemned the violent protests against the cartoons that have taken place around the world and urged governments to take steps to lower tensions. The SuperFriends issued a press release announcing a joint effort with the Legion Of Doom to put an end to the violence.

"We understand fully why people find the cartoons offensive," said JLA spokesperson Green Lantern. "I mean, we had to deal with the Wonder Twins all those years. Believe me, we know. But violence isn't the answer."

The press release also condemned the torching of the Danish embassy in Damascus and refuted reports that the fire was accidentally touched off by Firestorm. However, the JLA did offer Captain Cold's services in the event of future fires.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, the JLA did offer to send a mediation team to Afghanistan led by Brainiac and Black Vulcan. Aquaman was the original choice but as of press time was stuck in a fishing net in the Caspian Sea.

Responding to questions from Washington about exactly who engaged the JLA, British Prime Minister Tony Blair admitted that he had sounded the Trouble Alert at the Hall of Justice. He said the action was necessary after calls to Commissioner Gordon went unanswered.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE world NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Group of feminists vow to strip naked and walk across DMZ between North and South Korea to prove how uptight both nations are «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»
US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Group of feminists vow to strip naked and walk across DMZ between North and South Korea to prove how uptight both nations are «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»