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SAN FRANCISCO (CAP) - Nationally know gay lifestyle magazine StudBunnies has awarded its highest honor - Pretty Boy Of The Year - to an unlikely person: Republican party presidential candidate Rick Santorum.
At a press conference held at the StudBunnies Ranch just outside of San Francisco, magazine co-founders Mo Lawrence and Lance Delgado explained their controversial choice.
"When we first set out to do Pretty Boy Of The Year, we intentionally made it apolitical," said Lawrence. "It's all about the beefcake, baby."
"Think Miss America without the talent, tits or tiaras," chimed in Delgado. "Personally I loath everything the man stands for."
"Oh yeah, he's a huge asshole," said Lawrence. "That said, he is also a huge pretty boy. I used to tune into C-SPAN just to watch his ass walk across the chamber floor."
"Can you imagine that in chaps?" Delgado sighed. "Plus he’s got that yummy last name."
"I think yummy might be pushing it, but it was a factor," Lawrence added.
Santorum will remain Pretty Boy Of The Year throughout the end of next January, which coincides only coincidentally with what the former senator hopes is his inauguration to the presidency. With the momentum gained by his three-state sweep yesterday and the award announcement, Santorum hopes both will help him pirouette all the way to the White House.
"I feel honored to finally be recognized by the gay community for what I bring to the table," said Santorum after his victory speech in St. Charles, MO. "Because let's face it, me in a tight pair of jeans beats Romney's saggy ass any day of the week.
"With that said, I still don't subscribe to their man-on-dog ways," Santorum added.
In addition to national bragging rights, Santorum will also receive a year's subscription to StudBunnies and a statuette that we can't show you. The statuette is scheduled to be presented to Santorum at an awards dinner to be held at the StudBunnies Ranch this Sunday.
When asked to comment about the Pretty Boy award, Romney was incredulous. "You mean I lost that, too?" he lamented. "Man, this just isn't my week."
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