Thursday | August 28, 2014
Ford Inks Deal With International Coal Group
Said one employee of the limited edition replica helmets being handed out at the door, "Maybe the CEO's can use these to figure out how to get their heads out of their collective asses."

DEARBORN, Mich. (CAP) - Following Ford's announcement to cut some 30,000 jobs, company officials have laid out a plan to keep those workers out of the unemployment line. A CAP News poll has found that approximately 0.05% are expected to take up the offer.

According to records obtained by CAP News, Ford has announced a partnership with International Coal Group to provide training, canaries and jobs to laid-off workers interested in a career change.

"It's a step forward in the culture of Ford," said Ford Chairman and CEO Bill Ford. "We're an industry with a surplus of workers, and coal mining finds itself scrambling to fill an increasing number of open positions. It's win-win."

Ford shares rose on this news, indicating some investors were pleased with the long-awaited "One Step Forward, Five Steps Back" plan as well as the CEO's larger-than-expected $12.4 million bonus in the fourth quarter.

"This plan is a painful last resort," Ford said as he wiped away a tear with a $100 bill. "And my wallet is deeply mindful of the impact."

The restructuring is Ford's second in four years. Under the first plan, Ford sent 35,000 jobs to the ailing offshore child labor industry, but its North American operations failed to turn around. However, the child labor industry has reported record growth for three straight years.

- CAP News Staff

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