Tuesday | September 1, 2015
Jessica Simpson Ordered To Rest Brain
A SPECT scan showing normal brain activity (left) and Jessica Simpson's brain activity (right).

NEW YORK (CAP) - Just days after doctors told Jessica Simpson to take some time off to rest her voice, they've come forward to say that tests show she should rest her brain as well.

"We ran a series of EEG's on Ms. Simpson during a recent visit," said Dr. Ravi Karath. "We did not expect to see much activity - I mean, she's Jessica Simpson. Boy, were we wrong."

Karath explained that in a typical female brain, the electrical impulses follow a somewhat standard traffic pattern based on daily thoughts and routines. However, in Jessica's brain, he said there's no discernable pattern at all, with the electrical impulses "almost appearing confused."

"It is true that Jessica is very confused," Jessica's publicist, Rob Shuter, told CAP News. "She's been ordered to rest her brain. Frankly, I'm not sure it's going to help. She's always been this way."

Karath said the team of doctors who examined Jessica's EEG had no medical basis for their prescription, but figured anyone with that much brain activity and that little intelligence could stand some rest.

Jessica herself said she hopes her condition improves by next weekend so she can continue the media blitz in support of her new album A Public Affair. However, when doctors explained her condition to her, it created additional aimless brain waves and set her back by a week.

- CAP News Staff

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Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Kim Kardashian announces she is pregnant, says she and Kanye plan to name the baby SXSW «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «»