Thursday | January 29, 2015
Rush Limbaugh Buys Negro Baseball League Franchise
Rush Limbaugh pauses for a photo op with some of the inaugural members of his Negro League baseball team.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (CAP) - Rebuffed in his attempt to become a minority owner of the National Football League's St. Louis Rams, conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is now attempting another avenue into professional sports by reviving the Negro Baseball League.

CAP News has learned Limbaugh plans to re-start the league, which ceased operation in 1950 shortly after Jackie Robinson began the integration of Major League Baseball, with original franchises the Indianapolis Clowns and Atlanta Black Crackers. He hopes to soon begin a barnstorming tour in which the Negro teams play in venues that approximate those of MLB squads.

"It will be separate, but you know, equal to Major League Baseball," a Limbaugh spokesman confirmed to CAP News. "Rush has no plans to intrude on the established monopoly of MLB and will have his players use all of their own facilities - bathrooms, dining halls, water fountains, baseball gloves, things like that."

Limbaugh reportedly turned to reviving the Negro League after several NFL players, and eventually NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, said it would be inappropriate for the race-baiting radio personality to own a team in that league where the majority of the employees are African-American.

Limbaugh, once again, staunchly denied that he is a racist, noting he is eager to increase employment of blacks in America, as long as the Democrats don't try to raise the minimum wage.

"He'd be happy to have them clean his house, tend to his crops, drive him around," the spokesman noted. "He'd even pay them to go to the drug store and pick up his prescriptions for him; perhaps even take their chances trying to score some at a discount on the street. He feels they are good at that sort of thing."

Asked whether the Limbaugh Plantation would be able to financially support a professional sports franchise, Limbaugh responded: "We would be able to hold salaries down by insisting during all negotiations that the white, liberal media was making out all these players to be much better than they really are."

Limbaugh even held out the possibility of President Obama joining his professional organization if he were to expand his reach to reviving the defunct American Basketball Association.

"The good news is that, if he went back to playing basketball like he should have been doing all along, nobody will care that he wasn't born in this country," said Limbaugh, citing former NBA stars Hakeem Olajuwon and Dikembe Mutombo as native-born Africans who "rode the boat" to success playing American sports.

- CAP News Staff

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Patriots caught trying to sneak snow-making machine into University of Phoenix Stadium for competitive advantage during Super Bowl «» NFL says if Patriots had deflated footballs, their punt would have wedged in Josh Cribbs' facemask, not bounced off of it «» Newly released Mueller report says NFL did not even know Ray Rice had a girlfriend, thought he was beating up a hooker in the elevator «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie seeking bids from NFL owners to be their super fan during upcoming playoff games, vows to jump around like a jackass if team wins «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» Congress passes new 'Right To Lie' law for politicians with less than six months left to serve before re-election «» President Obama concludes trip through Midwest to explain salient points from State Of The Union for that part of the country that only reads at a third grade level «» Body of deceased Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz to be placed in high pressure kiln and turned into limited edition collectible crude oil «» US Capitol janitor confirms he did have to wake a sleeping Joe Biden from his seat behind the podium while cleaning up hours after the State Of The Union «»