Friday | November 21, 2014
Rush Limbaugh Buys Negro Baseball League Franchise
Rush Limbaugh pauses for a photo op with some of the inaugural members of his Negro League baseball team.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (CAP) - Rebuffed in his attempt to become a minority owner of the National Football League's St. Louis Rams, conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is now attempting another avenue into professional sports by reviving the Negro Baseball League.

CAP News has learned Limbaugh plans to re-start the league, which ceased operation in 1950 shortly after Jackie Robinson began the integration of Major League Baseball, with original franchises the Indianapolis Clowns and Atlanta Black Crackers. He hopes to soon begin a barnstorming tour in which the Negro teams play in venues that approximate those of MLB squads.

"It will be separate, but you know, equal to Major League Baseball," a Limbaugh spokesman confirmed to CAP News. "Rush has no plans to intrude on the established monopoly of MLB and will have his players use all of their own facilities - bathrooms, dining halls, water fountains, baseball gloves, things like that."

Limbaugh reportedly turned to reviving the Negro League after several NFL players, and eventually NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, said it would be inappropriate for the race-baiting radio personality to own a team in that league where the majority of the employees are African-American.

Limbaugh, once again, staunchly denied that he is a racist, noting he is eager to increase employment of blacks in America, as long as the Democrats don't try to raise the minimum wage.

"He'd be happy to have them clean his house, tend to his crops, drive him around," the spokesman noted. "He'd even pay them to go to the drug store and pick up his prescriptions for him; perhaps even take their chances trying to score some at a discount on the street. He feels they are good at that sort of thing."

Asked whether the Limbaugh Plantation would be able to financially support a professional sports franchise, Limbaugh responded: "We would be able to hold salaries down by insisting during all negotiations that the white, liberal media was making out all these players to be much better than they really are."

Limbaugh even held out the possibility of President Obama joining his professional organization if he were to expand his reach to reviving the defunct American Basketball Association.

"The good news is that, if he went back to playing basketball like he should have been doing all along, nobody will care that he wasn't born in this country," said Limbaugh, citing former NBA stars Hakeem Olajuwon and Dikembe Mutombo as native-born Africans who "rode the boat" to success playing American sports.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE sports NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2014 BY CAP NEWS
Quarterback Peyton Manning asks to join Detroit Lions "just for this week" so he can try one more time to beat the Patriots «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» Pope Francis gives America nine months to "clean up your gays" ahead of his visit next fall «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «» Kmart asks employees to celebrate Thanksgiving the weekend before so they can work on Thanksgiving itself «»
Quarterback Peyton Manning asks to join Detroit Lions "just for this week" so he can try one more time to beat the Patriots «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» Pope Francis gives America nine months to "clean up your gays" ahead of his visit next fall «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «» Kmart asks employees to celebrate Thanksgiving the weekend before so they can work on Thanksgiving itself «»