Islamic Radicals Target 'Garfield Minus Garfield'
The splinter radical group based in Syria called 'Garfield Minus Garfield Plus Garfield Equals Garfield' is leading the effort to restore Garfield to the strip.
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U.S. Offers France Pick Of Any Celebrity For Next Peace Rally
Americans are always happy to assist as long as there aren't any other pressing commitments.
Obama Doesn't Rule Out Vacationing In Afghanistan
White House officials plan to make sure he won't have a connecting flight through Singapore.
North Korea Fires A Couple Missiles For Attention
Pundits agree that Kim Jong-un is in desperate need of a hobby since his Wii console broke.
Obama To Launch Air Strikes Against Osiris, Anubis
The plan is part of Obama's "I'll Try Anything Once" approach to international diplomacy.
Obama To Deploy Ebola Patients To Syria
In response to critics, Joe Biden said it's America's way of helping all those librarians.
Israel, Hamas Agree On Ceasefire For Potty Break
However, the two can't come to terms on whether the toilet paper should roll over or under.
Obama To Send Kanye West To Iraq To Sort Things Out
Kanye's appointment has already earned him the label of "the Jane Fonda of our generation."
Al Gore, Pope Spar Over Origins Of The Internet
Historians say this is not unlike when Pope Innocent III banned the abacus back in 1200 AD.
Thailand PM Promises To Disrobe If Protesters Desist
Yingluck Shinawatra said she's already working on her "One Night In Bangkok" 2014 calendar.
Obama: Bombing Syria "Good Geography Lesson"
Vatican Workers Threaten To Strike, Turn Protestant
Survey Says Catholics Upset Over Pope's Catholic Views