NY Mayor de Blasio Enlists Tom Selleck To Quell Turmoil
Police Commissioner William Bratton said he doesn't feel the least bit slighted because he always wanted to meet Selleck himself and is happy to have a scapegoat.
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Nude Calendar Of Ugly People Sells Like Hotcakes
For a behind the scenes look at all that jiggling flesh and wrinkled booty, order yours now!
National Weather Service Replaces 'Polar Vortex' With 'Arctic Horcrux'
With computers doing most of the forecasting, meteorologists need cool names to keep it fun.
Wesleyan University Mandates Coed Restrooms By 2017
Facilities will also install dual toilet paper holders in every stall for both over/under.
Cities Unsure How To Handle Public Service Graffiti
Officials are surprised today's youth can stop texting long enough to spray paint anything.
IRS "Didn't Know" Agent Retired In 2003
Some think they vaguely recall a party from back then but can't remember what it was for.
Texas To Execute 15 For Charity
Gov. Perry denies that he intends to televise the event as part of a new Fox reality show.
NSA Wiretaps Own Break Room, Nabs Lunch Thief
However, the agency still hasn't been able to determine who's been stealing office supplies.
ACLU Pushes To Rename Hashtags As 'Pound Signs'
The support group Ampersands Anonymous has endorsed the move to minimize errant labeling.
Supreme Court To Vote On Civil Rights For Wiggers
The history of the wigger civil rights movement dates back to the mid-'80s and Vanilla Ice.
'Coffee Pots For The Poor' Program Goes Belly Up
Anti-Zombie Groups Fight Pitchfork Control Legislation
Boy, 5, Tasered After Fashioning Hand Into Gun