National Weather Service Replaces 'Polar Vortex' With 'Arctic Horcrux'
Meteorologists say forecasting the weather isn't as fun as it used to be because computers most of the work, so they need some cool names to keep it interesting.
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Halloween Extended To Eight Hours For Slow, Obese Kids
With Halloween on a weekend night, it really could turn into a 48-hour candy extravaganza.
Wesleyan University Mandates Coed Restrooms By 2017
Facilities will also install dual toilet paper holders in every stall for both over/under.
Prison Industry Adopts Agri-Style Battery Cages
Not only will they help cut down on cost, but prisons can now stack twice as many inmates.
Cities Unsure How To Handle Public Service Graffiti
Officials are surprised today's youth can stop texting long enough to spray paint anything.
IRS "Didn't Know" Agent Retired In 2003
Some think they vaguely recall a party from back then but can't remember what it was for.
Texas To Execute 15 For Charity
Gov. Perry denies that he intends to televise the event as part of a new Fox reality show.
NSA Wiretaps Own Break Room, Nabs Lunch Thief
However, the agency still hasn't been able to determine who's been stealing office supplies.
ACLU Pushes To Rename Hashtags As 'Pound Signs'
The support group Ampersands Anonymous has endorsed the move to minimize errant labeling.
Supreme Court To Vote On Civil Rights For Wiggers
The history of the wigger civil rights movement dates back to the mid-'80s and Vanilla Ice.
'Coffee Pots For The Poor' Program Goes Belly Up
Anti-Zombie Groups Fight Pitchfork Control Legislation
Boy, 5, Tasered After Fashioning Hand Into Gun