Sunday | March 29, 2015
Cleanup Of Solar Energy Spill Underway In Montana
Sales of sunscreen have skyrocketed throughout the area as officials warn of an extremely high UV index in towns as far away as 50 miles from the spill itself.
TOP tech STORIES
Canon Showcases New 4D Printer At CES
Experts were disappointed that the printer isn't wearable because that would have been cool.
Scientists Successfully Land Probe In Kim Kardashian's Cleavage
This marks the first successful landing between two celestial bodies for scientific research.
Schools Replace Standardized Tests With New IQ App
This finally puts America ahead of Asia for our ability to reduce a child to just a number.
tech BRIEFS
Apple: 'Crappy Child Labor' To Blame For iPhone Woes
Apple alleges the kids are more interested in playing with the iPhones than building them.
USPS Secures Contract To Deliver Email
The deal covers all major email clients except Lotus Notes, which everyone agrees is junk.
Scientists Unearth Largest Upagus Ever To Roam Land
Scholars have launched a "Follow That Upagus!" campaign to help increase public awareness.
Jay Carney Wants To Connect On LinkedIn
Soon everyone in America will play a bit part in the new game, "Six Degrees Of Jay Carney."
Apple Reveals iPhone With 15.6" Viewable Screen
The biggest challenge may be snapping on a case, which takes three people with a crowbar.
New Report Says Report Needed About Seatbelt Use
Pundits say the new report indicates the government is serious about reporting on safety.
tech TRENDING
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Bush Reveals Top-Secret Alternative Fuel: Floam
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Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «» Apple accidentally unveils new watch at 12pm instead of 1pm after forgetting to turn device forward an hour for daylight savings «» FCC rules Internet providers must stream all porn at the same speed, whether it's hot babes or skanky ho's «» ISIS hacks U.S. military's Instagram account, posts pictures of last night's dinner and terrorists making duck lips «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» Ted Cruz says he wants to become president so his dog can pee on the White House lawn «» New survey finds 73% of Americans feel like a nut 54% of the time, while 63% of Americans don't 47% of the time «»
Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «» Apple accidentally unveils new watch at 12pm instead of 1pm after forgetting to turn device forward an hour for daylight savings «» FCC rules Internet providers must stream all porn at the same speed, whether it's hot babes or skanky ho's «» ISIS hacks U.S. military's Instagram account, posts pictures of last night's dinner and terrorists making duck lips «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» Ted Cruz says he wants to become president so his dog can pee on the White House lawn «» New survey finds 73% of Americans feel like a nut 54% of the time, while 63% of Americans don't 47% of the time «»