Scientists Successfully Land Probe In Kim Kardashian's Cleavage
This marks the first successful landing in between two celestial bodies, at least for the purposes of scientific exploration as far as the grant money is concerned.
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Schools Replace Standardized Tests With New IQ App
This finally puts America ahead of Asia for our ability to reduce a child to just a number.
Apple: 'Crappy Child Labor' To Blame For iPhone Woes
Apple alleges the kids are more interested in playing with the iPhones than building them.
USPS Secures Contract To Deliver Email
The deal covers all major email clients except Lotus Notes, which everyone agrees is junk.
Scientists Unearth Largest Upagus Ever To Roam Land
Scholars have launched a "Follow That Upagus!" campaign to help increase public awareness.
Jay Carney Wants To Connect On LinkedIn
Soon everyone in America will play a bit part in the new game, "Six Degrees Of Jay Carney."
Apple Reveals iPhone With 15.6" Viewable Screen
The biggest challenge may be snapping on a case, which takes three people with a crowbar.
New Report Says Report Needed About Seatbelt Use
Pundits say the new report indicates the government is serious about reporting on safety.
Nokia Introduces New Lumia S7 Smart Pinky Ring
The device comes complete with its own small wooden stylus which can double as a toothpick.
Internet Meme 'Cray Cray' To Add Third Cray
An online ad campaign features Buckwheat holding up his finger and thumb, saying "O-Cray!"
Twitter Music Service To Feature Only The Chorus
Google Glass 2.0 Billed As "Better Than Reality"
Apple Sued By Chicago PD Over New '2-Way Wrist TV'