Wednesday | July 1, 2015
Patriots Accused Of Using Nerf Footballs Against Colts
NFL officials claim New England may have played the entire third quarter with the Nerf Vortex Aero Howler that has a special hand grip and whistles through the air.
TOP sports STORIES
NFL Apologizes For Missed Call During 2008 Game
Film shows the official tried to throw his flag but was unable to release it from his belt.
Hundreds Of Dismayed Oakland Raiders Fans Wander Off
QB Derek Carr said he would help find them, but first he should try to find his receivers.
NFL Player Caught On Film Hitting Every Button In Elevator
While the issue is under investigation, players are strongly encouraged to take the stairs.
sports BRIEFS
NFL Reduces League Tolerance Of Bullying By Over 17%
League efforts are focused on the tolerance of bullying, but not the actual bullying itself.
World Foosball Cup Comes To Poland Amid Controversy
It's being touted as a scalper's paradise and just the shot in the arm that Poland needs.
NHL To Allow Brass Knuckles During Fights
Officials hope to rejuvenate a league plagued by sagging attendance and predictable fights.
NFL To Limit Post-Game Locker Room Wedgies
However, the league has yet to rule on players snapping wet towels at each other's asses.
Redskins Change Name To Washington Honkeys
They had to back down from Washington Crackers after protests from the snack food industry.
Morphine Scandal Rocks Vintage Base Ball Team
A couple players also had been suspended for fighting with Revolutionary War re-enactors.
sports TRENDING
CAP NEWS VAULT
Ticket Holders Attempt Mass Suicide After Yankee Loss
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «»
LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «»