Monday | December 22, 2014
Hundreds Of Dismayed Oakland Raiders Fans Wander Off
Quarterback Derek Carr said he would help go find them, but authorities declined, saying he can't even find his receivers down field, let alone some missing fans.
TOP sports STORIES
Fox To Air Alternate World Series Between Yankees, Dodgers
Baltimore Orioles fans rallied to protest the snub and remind everyone they won the AL East.
NFL Player Caught On Film Hitting Every Button In Elevator
While the issue is under investigation, players are strongly encouraged to take the stairs.
NFL Reduces League Tolerance Of Bullying By Over 17%
League efforts are focused on the tolerance of bullying, but not the actual bullying itself.
sports BRIEFS
Cavaliers Secret New Game Plan Leaked
Sources say the leak was done on purpose to increase advanced ticket sales for next season.
World Foosball Cup Comes To Poland Amid Controversy
It's being touted as a scalper's paradise and just the shot in the arm that Poland needs.
NHL To Allow Brass Knuckles During Fights
Officials hope to rejuvenate a league plagued by sagging attendance and predictable fights.
NFL To Limit Post-Game Locker Room Wedgies
However, the league has yet to rule on players snapping wet towels at each other's asses.
Redskins Change Name To Washington Honkeys
They had to back down from Washington Crackers after protests from the snack food industry.
Morphine Scandal Rocks Vintage Base Ball Team
A couple players also had been suspended for fighting with Revolutionary War re-enactors.
sports TRENDING
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2014 BY CAP NEWS
NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» UPS seeks volunteers to celebrate Christmas on Saturday to buy themselves some wiggle room for delivering packages, says they would "really appreciate it" «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «»
NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» UPS seeks volunteers to celebrate Christmas on Saturday to buy themselves some wiggle room for delivering packages, says they would "really appreciate it" «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «»