Tuesday | June 18, 2013
Gary Busey Has Preemptive Frontal Lobotomy
After the surgery, Busey plans to join Keeping Up With The Kardashians where he should fit right in with a group who clearly hasn't used their brains in years.
[MORE]
New Star Trek Movie Almost As Popular As George TakeiNew Star Trek Movie Almost As Popular As George Takei

In fact, a video of George at his computer posting a meme to Facebook became its own meme.

Lindsay Lohan To Have Rehab Wing Named For HerLindsay Lohan To Have Rehab Wing Named For Her

With so many trips under her belt already, her father says she deserves an entire facility.

\'Splash\' Mishaps Jeopardize \'Celeb Chainsaw Juggling\''Splash' Mishaps Jeopardize 'Celeb Chainsaw Juggling'

Shows like Celebrity Sword Swallowing and Celebrity Fire Eating could also face the axe.

Newsmakers
New Stills From Iron Man 3 Look Exactly Like First Two
@TonyStark

New Stills From Iron Man 3 Look Exactly Like First Two

Philip Seymour Hoffman To Play Building In Next Film
@PhilipSeymourHoffman

Philip Seymour Hoffman To Play Building In Next Film

Kiss Celebrates 40 Years Of Noone Knowing They\'re Gay
@PaulStanley

Kiss Celebrates 40 Years Of Noone Knowing They're Gay

Hot Topics
One Direction 2018 Tour Completely Sold Out
#WillTheyBe21Yet?

One Direction 2018 Tour Completely Sold Out

Twitter Teens Discover Three Stooges Were Real
#InternetMemes

Twitter Teens Discover Three Stooges Were Real

Kim Kardashian\'s Eggs Sign Contract For Reality Show
#BornAgainRealityTV

Kim Kardashian's Eggs Sign Contract For Reality Show

Newsreel
Madonna Shocks Fans By Aging

Many critics say the most surprising part of Madonna's questionable strategy of growing older is her apparent belief that she has remained both relevant and sexy.

Study: Nickelodeon Writers High 22 Hours Per Day

The substances used by the writers to sustain their almost perpetual state of intoxication vary from show to show, with iCarly writers the most drugged of all.

Actor Reginald VelJohnson Still Wearing Cop Uniform

Family and friends tell CAP News the '80s television star can be seen roaming the streets of his neighborhood dressed in his blues, making sure crime stays away.

Newest HBO Series To Feature Swearing, Breasts

HBO executives say the show will "break new ground" in the realm of swearing and showing women's breasts, employing only actresses who never wear shirts at all.

Archives
HBO To Air Final Two Minutes Of Sopranos Next January
Partners

Giant Space Asteroids II - The Revenge!

Like most columnists, I started in this business for one reason and one reason only: to win the Nobel Prize for Column Writing.

rambling thoughts and reflections on life issues and faith.
www.thechicagodope.com
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Kanye West has canceled the release of his new album and pulled all existing copies in the wake of the birth of his daughter. "Oh my God, have you heard those lyrics I wrote?" he said. "I'm a dad now. I can't be all rapping about breasts 'n shit anymore." «» Parental advisory groups are up in arms over the naming of the new One Direction sports drink, simply called OD. "Other than their obvious lack of originality, it's the slogan we don't like," said Mothers Against Everything. "Have You OD'ed Today? isn't exactly the message we should be sending children." «» The battle between Rush Limbaugh and WABC heated up as the radio station blamed low ad revenues on Rush's sobriety. "Nobody gives a crap about his politics anymore," said a source. "What they want to hear is the crazy-ass shit he says when he's all hopped up on prescription drugs." «» Celebrity drunk Mel Gibson has come to the defense of Reese Witherspoon after the actress was charged with disorderly conduct during her husband's DUI stop. "That dyke didn't even use a single racial epithet," Gibson noted. "So the Jew media had better just leave that Episcopalian bimbo the hell alone!" «» Singer Carrie Underwood is facing vandalism charges today after digging her key into the side of a vehicle owned by Academy of Country Music chairwoman Sarah Trahern and slashing a hole in all four tires. "And maybe next time she'll think before she picks Entertainer Of The Year," Underwood said. «» President Obama has announced that Hispanics will be the next ethnic group unfairly targeted with racial profiling by federal law enforcement agencies. "We've done a pretty good number on Muslims over the past decade," Obama said. "I think it's time America took on a new challenge and broadened our horizons." «» With the recent flight of its fifth manned space mission, China is poised to become the first nation to successfully launch a fully operational orbiting forced labor camp. Astronauts on board the country's space station module will spend two years testing the effects of weightlessness on human rights abuses. «» New data released from the leaked NSA telephone surveillance tapes reveals that Americans are ordering out for pizza at an alarming rate yet not calling their mothers nearly as much as they should. However, hour-long conversations with fathers explaining how to open a Word document remain at an all-time high. «» A new study finds that teenagers who regularly use a baby pacifier are 95% less likely to become bullies than those who don't. The positive results come on the heels of Michelle Obama's new Binkies For Bullies program that aims to reduce incidents of bullying by turning perpetrators into targets. «» The Pentagon is accusing Chinese cyberspies of hacking the Twitter accounts of thousands of teenage girls after a flurry of mean, vindictive tweets surfaced. "We knew no one would ever purposefully post such awful things about their own friends," said one official. "So we figured it had to be China." «»
Kanye West has canceled the release of his new album and pulled all existing copies in the wake of the birth of his daughter. "Oh my God, have you heard those lyrics I wrote?" he said. "I'm a dad now. I can't be all rapping about breasts 'n shit anymore." «» Parental advisory groups are up in arms over the naming of the new One Direction sports drink, simply called OD. "Other than their obvious lack of originality, it's the slogan we don't like," said Mothers Against Everything. "Have You OD'ed Today? isn't exactly the message we should be sending children." «» The battle between Rush Limbaugh and WABC heated up as the radio station blamed low ad revenues on Rush's sobriety. "Nobody gives a crap about his politics anymore," said a source. "What they want to hear is the crazy-ass shit he says when he's all hopped up on prescription drugs." «» Celebrity drunk Mel Gibson has come to the defense of Reese Witherspoon after the actress was charged with disorderly conduct during her husband's DUI stop. "That dyke didn't even use a single racial epithet," Gibson noted. "So the Jew media had better just leave that Episcopalian bimbo the hell alone!" «» Singer Carrie Underwood is facing vandalism charges today after digging her key into the side of a vehicle owned by Academy of Country Music chairwoman Sarah Trahern and slashing a hole in all four tires. "And maybe next time she'll think before she picks Entertainer Of The Year," Underwood said. «» President Obama has announced that Hispanics will be the next ethnic group unfairly targeted with racial profiling by federal law enforcement agencies. "We've done a pretty good number on Muslims over the past decade," Obama said. "I think it's time America took on a new challenge and broadened our horizons." «» With the recent flight of its fifth manned space mission, China is poised to become the first nation to successfully launch a fully operational orbiting forced labor camp. Astronauts on board the country's space station module will spend two years testing the effects of weightlessness on human rights abuses. «» New data released from the leaked NSA telephone surveillance tapes reveals that Americans are ordering out for pizza at an alarming rate yet not calling their mothers nearly as much as they should. However, hour-long conversations with fathers explaining how to open a Word document remain at an all-time high. «» A new study finds that teenagers who regularly use a baby pacifier are 95% less likely to become bullies than those who don't. The positive results come on the heels of Michelle Obama's new Binkies For Bullies program that aims to reduce incidents of bullying by turning perpetrators into targets. «» The Pentagon is accusing Chinese cyberspies of hacking the Twitter accounts of thousands of teenage girls after a flurry of mean, vindictive tweets surfaced. "We knew no one would ever purposefully post such awful things about their own friends," said one official. "So we figured it had to be China." «»