Friday | November 28, 2014
Dems Propose Using Jobless To Carry Oil From Canada To Texas
If there aren't enough unemployed Americans, supporters say they can fill in the gaps with the 5 million illegals the president plans to let stay in the country.
TOP politics STORIES
Mass. Rights The Ship By Electing Blonde White Guy As Governor
It was a throw-back election, harkening back to when minorities had no place in politics.
Senate Passes Bill Mandating Hand Washing
The bill falls shy of dictating just how long people should wash, but does suggest 20 seconds.
Joe Biden Pushes For More School Funding For 'Retards'
Critics attacked his choice of vocabulary, noting that retards are now called sped kids.
politics BRIEFS
Rick Perry Indicted For Abuse Of Social Media
Perry said he can still count all of his indictments on one hand so he's not too worried.
Palin, Brown Announce 2015 Presidential Bid
The two are trying to gain ground in a GOP party that has dumped them like unwanted dogs.
Biden Swaps More Prisoners For Fifth Of Scotch, Some Smokes
Officials say Biden was tough in the negotiations, steadfastly refusing to pay import taxes.
Christie Used Hurricane Funds To Host Furry Parties
Christie denies the allegations, saying he actually spent the money on hookers and booze.
Senate Takes Up Legislation Affirming What A Fox Says
Once this dilemma is resolved, lawmakers hope to identify the sound of one hand clapping.
Obama Okays Landscapers To Clean Up His Dogs' Crap
Sentiments run strong over the proper way to scoop the poop without damaging the West Lawn.
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Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» President Obama cancels afternoon press conference after what aides say was an "untimely erection" «» Speaker of the House John Boehner admits slipping Joe Biden $20 to pants President Obama to find out if he's a boxers or briefs guy «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «» More Americans feeling compelled to visit relatives over Thanksgiving break due to falling gas prices, wish gas stayed above $3 per gallon just until the holidays were over «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «»
Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» President Obama cancels afternoon press conference after what aides say was an "untimely erection" «» Speaker of the House John Boehner admits slipping Joe Biden $20 to pants President Obama to find out if he's a boxers or briefs guy «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «» More Americans feeling compelled to visit relatives over Thanksgiving break due to falling gas prices, wish gas stayed above $3 per gallon just until the holidays were over «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «»