Obama To Take Scalpels, Sharp Objects Away From Doctors
The president noted that the days of doctors amputating the wrong limbs are over as everyone gets to keep all of their appendages under his new healthcare tactic.
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Study: Axe Spray Makes Teenagers Smell Like Crap
And of those who smell like crap, a large percentage were found to smell like total crap.
TV Watching At All-Time Low Among Homeless Children
Homeless children also lag behind their sheltered counterparts in other areas like bathing.
Kids Not Told To Sit Down, Shut Up Nearly Enough, Study Finds
The study attempts to ameliorate the negative stereotypes associated with angry parenting.
Study Links Living To Higher Risk Of Death
The study did not factor in any qualifications of life such as having in-laws or children.
Scientists Hatch New Breed Of Neon Yellow Lice
Researchers hope to remove the stigma attached to having lice by introducing cool colors.
Congressional Report Notes Old People Continue Dying
The report cites irreversible effects of the aging process as a main contributing factor.
Just Wearing Gym Clothes Not The Same As Exercising
A new study found that dressing for a workout provides the same benefit as talking about it.
Gluten Supporters To Rally For More Gluten
Chef The Gluten Gourmet is donating proceeds from his annual gluten telethon to the cause.
Calorie Guides Create Race Of Guilt-Ridden Fat People
Many obese use online calorie guides because unlike books, the pages don't stick together.
Men's Shorter Lifespan Attributed To Just Giving Up
Judge Lifts Limits On 'Morning After' Lollipop
Traditional Southern Diet, Fat Asses May Be Linked
- Toilet Sizes Expand To Meet Needs Of Obese Nation
- Ear Doctors Announce Split From Nose/Throat, Go Solo
- Thumbless Sue Kraft Inc. Over Mac & Cheese Boxes
- Doctors Advise Against Swing Sets, Back Yards
- Insurers Introduce 'Slut Advantage' Health Plan
- Major Hospitals To Offer Porn-Free Surgical Units
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