Monday | December 22, 2014
Amazon Launches Instantaneous Delivery Service In New York
The new offering allows Amazon to stay one step ahead of its competitors and also paves the way for Amazon Telepathy, which delivers items before they are ordered.
TOP business STORIES
Post Office To Pay Tribute To Glory Days Of Porn
The USPS is hoping to get people interested in discretely-wrapped porn magazines once again.
Walmart To Sell Salvation In Select Cities
There won't be any returns or exchanges unless the salvation is in its original packaging.
New Verizon FIOS Package Records Every Channel All The Time
Customers can turn off recording of the Spanish stations, but the cost remains the same.
business BRIEFS
Five Below Buys Family Dollar, Creates New Store 'Two Fiddy'
Company managers celebrated the deal with burgers from Five Guys and a trip to Six Flags.
Tony The Tiger Admits Frosted Flakes Are 'Pretty Good' At Best
Tony said he is relieved his secret is finally out but he knows he needs to find a new gig.
NY Times Editor Fired For Bringing Vagina To Work
Sources say Jill Abramson and her vagina were "pretty much attached at the hip" every day.
TD Bank Replaces Frumpy Tellers With Sexy Coeds
Anyone opening a new account will receive a new toaster or a pair of slightly-used panties.
Upstart Horsemeat Industry Fights Negative Stereotypes
Meet the man who hopes to change your view of the horse from companion animal to main dish.
More Workplace Bullying Being Outsourced Overseas
Despite the disappointing news, pundits say Americans remain #1 in stealing office supplies.
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Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «»
Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «»