Amazon Launches Instantaneous Delivery Service In New York
The new offering allows Amazon to stay one step ahead of its competitors and also paves the way for Amazon Telepathy, which delivers items before they are ordered.
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Post Office To Pay Tribute To Glory Days Of Porn
The USPS is hoping to get people interested in discretely-wrapped porn magazines once again.
Walmart To Sell Salvation In Select Cities
There won't be any returns or exchanges unless the salvation is in its original packaging.
New Verizon FIOS Package Records Every Channel All The Time
Customers can turn off recording of the Spanish stations, but the cost remains the same.
Five Below Buys Family Dollar, Creates New Store 'Two Fiddy'
Company managers celebrated the deal with burgers from Five Guys and a trip to Six Flags.
Tony The Tiger Admits Frosted Flakes Are 'Pretty Good' At Best
Tony said he is relieved his secret is finally out but he knows he needs to find a new gig.
NY Times Editor Fired For Bringing Vagina To Work
Sources say Jill Abramson and her vagina were "pretty much attached at the hip" every day.
TD Bank Replaces Frumpy Tellers With Sexy Coeds
Anyone opening a new account will receive a new toaster or a pair of slightly-used panties.
Upstart Horsemeat Industry Fights Negative Stereotypes
Meet the man who hopes to change your view of the horse from companion animal to main dish.
More Workplace Bullying Being Outsourced Overseas
Despite the disappointing news, pundits say Americans remain #1 in stealing office supplies.
New Millennial Intern Doing A Great Job
Apple Importing Chinese Orphans To Work In U.S.
Nike Unveils New Slogan: "Born To Die"