Black Friday Shopping Started Last Tuesday
Stores said the move helped customers get their holiday shopping done early and let them clear out Christmas stock to make room for Valentine's Day merchandise.
TODAY'S TOP STORIES
Study: Americans To Tire Of Relatives Earlier This Year
The study found that Christians will get tired of relatives before Christmas even arrives.
Dems Propose Using Jobless To Carry Oil From Canada To Texas
If they run out of the unemployed, they plan to fill in the gaps with illegal immigrants.
TV Watching At All-Time Low Among Homeless Children
Homeless children also lag behind their sheltered counterparts in other areas like bathing.
CAP NEWS BRIEFS
Newest HBO Series To Feature Swearing, Breasts
Executives say the show will break new ground in the realm of swearing and women's breasts.
Bill Would Ban Masturbating While Driving
Many states have laws that ban negligent driving, but nothing quite like this measure.
Scientists Successfully Land Probe In Kim Kardashian's Cleavage
This marks the first successful landing between two celestial bodies for scientific research.
Domino's Pizza Boosts Earnings With More Slices
Analysts had predicted a profit of $0.15 per slice, but profit jumped to $0.27 per slice.
National Weather Service Replaces 'Polar Vortex' With 'Arctic Horcrux'
With computers doing most of the forecasting, meteorologists need cool names to keep it fun.
Groupon Expands Into Recreational Drugs
If you loved the savings from that pedicure, wait till you see what you get for a dimebag.
CAP NEWS TRENDING
Chlamydia Named Most Popular STD
Mass. Rights The Ship By Electing Blonde White Guy As Governor
Mother-Daughter Liver Transplant Day Shaping Up