Snowbound Commuters Use Kids To Hold Parking Spots
Even more common, say authorities, is residents leaving pets in their parking spots: typically tied-up dogs but also ferrets, fish and gerbils in their cages.
TODAY'S TOP STORIES
Study Finds Most Clams Severely Depressed
The study claims that only about .01% of all the clams in the world are really truly happy.
Cleanup Of Solar Energy Spill Underway In Montana
Sales of sunscreen have skyrocketed as officials warn of an extremely high UV index nearby.
Actor Reginald VelJohnson Still Wearing Cop Uniform
The former television star can be seen wandering the streets still pretending to be a cop.
CAP NEWS BRIEFS
Patriots Accused Of Using Nerf Footballs Against Colts
Officials claim New England played the entire third quarter with the Nerf Vortex Aero Howler.
Kentucky Discovers Tunnel From West Virginia
Kentucky residents are wondering why people from West Virginia would go through the trouble.
Papa Gino's Perfects Non-Absorbent Napkin
The new environmentally-friendly napkin resists all liquids with which it comes in contact.
Islamic Radicals Target 'Garfield Minus Garfield'
The splinter group 'Garfield Minus Garfield Plus Garfield Equals Garfield' is behind this.
Study: Comic Book Females 'Improbably Busty'
Results show that their prodigious bosoms would interfere with their ability to fight crime.
U.S. Offers France Pick Of Any Celebrity For Next Peace Rally
Americans are always happy to assist as long as there aren't any other pressing commitments.
CAP NEWS TRENDING
Baltimore Named Shittiest City In America
NFL Apologizes For Missed Call During 2008 Game
Foreign Travelers To US See Strict Deodorant Checks