Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear"
After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good"
New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud"
New study finds that adults who breastfeed are 58% more likely to be ostracized by their peers and ridiculed for having a milk mustache
A new poll finds 73% of those who would buy a consumer drone plan to use it to fire BB's at neighborhood dogs who come into their yard to poop
Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans
Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang"
Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage
Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game
Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in