Organizers of First Night Kabul say they still have two slots open for suicide bomber volunteers willing to be strapped with fireworks and set off at midnight
President Obama credits illegal Guatemalan caddie for helping him shoot 3 over par 75, says all Americans can enjoy that luxury by backing immigration reform
U.S. State Department denies it is behind putting glue on Kim Jong-un's toilet seat, where he was stuck for nine hours yesterday
North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility
Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men
NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses"
Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights
CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups
New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge.