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ROCK & ROLL
Study: Most Viewers Asleep During Stones' TV Concert
NEWARK (CAP) - A survey of viewers from Saturday night's Rolling Stones live pay-per-view concert special showed that most of them were asleep within 10 minutes of the concert's 9pm kickoff time.
"Dammit ... I paid 40 bucks for this and I didn't even get through all of [opening song] Get Off Of My Cloud," said Steve Klinger, 66, from Portland, Maine, who woke up at approximately 1am during an infomercial for incontinence products.
"The infomercial wound up having some useful information, though," he added.
"I pressed BUY on my remote and the next thing I remember it was 7am the next day," echoed Bob Schneider, 62, of State College, Penn. "I do recall having this nightmare at one point that Mick Jagger was being eaten by a pudgy blonde zebra," he added, presumably referring to guest performer Lady Gaga.
The survey showed that by the 18th song, Tumbling Dice featuring guest Bruce Springsteen, the entirety of the TV audience was either asleep or in the bathroom after having consumed close to a gallon of water with their cholesterol, blood pressure and other nightly medications.
"And it's too bad too, because Bruce wound up playing close to seven hours," said Jack Swanson, 49, of Freehold, N.J., who can take or leave the Stones but had purchased the show just to see Springsteen. "By the time he was done most of the Stones were asleep, or dead," noted Swanson.
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (CAP) - Even as news continues to filter out about whether and where Lindsay Lohan has checked into rehab, officials at the Morningside Recovery Center are flattered that Lindsay Lohan would fly all the way across the country just to visit them - so much so that they have decided to name a wing after the troubled actress.
"Just as we are dedicated to providing exceptional care, treatment and services to the plethora of junkies, lushes and losers who walk through our doors, it's only appropriate that we honor those who show the same dedication by coming back again and again," the center said in a prepared statement.
The newly named Lohan Adjunct is located inside Morningside's clinical building and contains half a dozen general purpose rooms perfect for impromptu meetings with one's agent, signing the first 100 copies of one's tell-all book, or discussing rights to the movie with producers.
HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - An injury suffered by Baywatch star Nicole Eggert on ABC's reality diving show Splash - the latest in a series of mishaps on the set - has producers rethinking plans to go forward with Celebrity Chainsaw Juggling, set for debut this fall.
"Up until now, we hadn't really thought beyond the fact that putting B-level celebrities in situations where they could be gravely injured or killed was ratings gold," noted Chainsaw producer Martin Shafer. "Well, okay, C-level celebrities."
However, "We never really thought about what would happen if they were actually gravely injured or killed," Shafer said, acknowledging that it would probably still boost ratings, but only temporarily.
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