- Girl Scouts: The Silent Killers
- Study Suggests Stonehenge Was Prehistoric McDonald's
- Wolfgang Van Halen Sick Of Being Hit On By 45-Yr-Olds
Wrong Celebrities Caught Having Sex
HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - The recent rash of celebrity sex tales has left many Americans feeling "dirty in a bad way," according to a new Washington Post poll. Over 75% say they long for the days when the celebrities caught in sex scandals were somewhat attractive, or at least female.
"It took us as a society a long time just to come to grips with the whole Danny DeVito, Rhea Perlman thing as it is," said CAP News Entertainment Editor Greta Von Cistern. "So to think there's another woman out there willing to take his skin boat to tuna town - it's enough to make you deliver a pavement pizza."
The recent revelation of a sex tape featuring then 53-year-old Hulk Hogan has renewed calls for legislation barring anyone over 50 from engaging in such acts, with mandatory jail time for actually videotaping it.
"Thankfully he's done quicker than Usain Bolt running a 200, but there are some things you just can't unsee," noted Von Cistern.
A full 87% of those polled agreed their faith in the American celebrity could easily be restored with a quick Jennifer Aniston nip slip or Lindsay Lohan doing anything drunk.
HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Star Trek: Into Darkness, the second Trek movie in the series of reboots directed by J.J. Abrams, ruled the box office over the weekend, drawing almost as huge an audience as one of George Takei's Facebook memes involving Capt. Jean-Luc Picard or a cat.
"Really, we couldn't be any happier," said Peter Franklin of Paramount Pictures of the opening weekend gross. "About the only way we could have done better is if we had made a meme involving Darth Vader or Willy Wonka or gay marriage, and George Takei had shared it."
Takei, who played Hikaru Sulu in the original Star Trek series, now spends most of his time sharing memes on Facebook that are in turn liked and shared by his over 100 million followers, usually within minutes.
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (CAP) - Even as news continues to filter out about whether and where Lindsay Lohan has checked into rehab, officials at the Morningside Recovery Center are flattered that Lindsay Lohan would fly all the way across the country just to visit them - so much so that they have decided to name a wing after the troubled actress.
"Just as we are dedicated to providing exceptional care, treatment and services to the plethora of junkies, lushes and losers who walk through our doors, it's only appropriate that we honor those who show the same dedication by coming back again and again," the center said in a prepared statement.
The newly named Lohan Adjunct is located inside Morningside's clinical building and contains half a dozen general purpose rooms perfect for impromptu meetings with one's agent, signing the first 100 copies of one's tell-all book, or discussing rights to the movie with producers.
- Banner Stands» Browse banner stands by Post-Up Stand. Trade Show Displays, Retractable Banner Displays, and more. High quality, 48 hour turnaround time!
- Prom Dresses 2013» Searching for the perfect dress to wear on your big night? Take a look from these styles who top the best-dressed lists all the time!