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Scalia: Being On Supreme Court "Super Easy"
WASHINGTON (CAP) - Backing up his recent claim that ruling on abortion and the death penalty were both "easy" decisions, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia confirmed during an interview with CNN that serving on the nation's highest court is "a piece of cake," noting that it's probably one of the least demanding jobs there is.
"And I've had a lot of jobs," Scalia told anchor Candy Crowley. "Waiting tables and remembering all those different orders? Now that's hard. Answering phones as an office receptionist? That takes an enormous amount of focus and concentration.
"Comparatively speaking, serving on the Supreme Court is a damn walk in the park," he added. "Plus, it's not like you ever have to worry about getting fired."
Scalia grew agitated at Crowley's incredulity in response to his statements. When asked what exactly it was about serving on the Supreme Court that he found easy, he told her it was "pretty much everything."
"I don't understand what everyone thinks is so hard about being a Justice," he said. "I mean, I guess maybe it's just easy for me? I'm good at making snap decisions - I don't have to think a lot about things in order to decide what my opinion is. It's like, well ... here: give me what you think is a hard question and I'll do a verdict, real quick."
Crowley asked Scalia to give his thoughts on the thorny issue of affirmative action, and he responded immediately.
"Affirmative action? That's an easy one," he told her. "It's a bad thing. Bam. Next?"
Asked to clarify why he thought affirmative action was a bad thing, Scalia attempted to elaborate. "I don't know, I just don't like it," he said. "It just sounds bad. And I'm pretty sure there's nothing about it in the Constitution, either, so I'm definitely against it." He folded his arms across his chest. "See? Easy! Next?"
Scalia admitted that his belief in the infallibility of the Constitution was a large part of what made it so simple for him to weigh the different sides of an issue quickly before coming to a thoughtful, reasoned conclusion.
"Or if I don't have time to check the Constitution, sometimes I just flip a coin," he added.
When asked who has most inspired his rulings throughout his long career on the Supreme Court, Scalia told Crowley that his biggest influence was probably Judge Judy.
"I love that lady! I watch her show all the time - I mean, when I don't have to listen to testimony or something like that, or if it's a really slow day on the bench, I'll hide in the back and catch an episode on my iPad."
Scalia added that he also really admires celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse.
"Bam!" he said, and laughed uproariously.
WASHINGTON (CAP) - In a sweeping and unusual move, the Justice Department has secretly obtained two months' worth of telephone records of journalists working for Cosmopolitan magazine, uncovering in the process hundreds of secret sex tips beyond those published in every issue of the magazine for the last 27 years.
According to Cosmo editor-in-chief Joanna Coles - author of How To Set His Man Bits On Fire, Possibly Literally - federal authorities obtained cellular, office and home telephone records of five individual sex tip reporters and both the Sex Tip Editor and Deputy Sex Tip Editor. She called the Justice Department's actions a "massive and unprecedented intrusion" into sex-tip-gathering activities.
"Which ironically enough would also describe many of our sex tips," she noted.
WASILLA, Alaska (CAP) - As scientists continue to monitor recent explosions and seismic activity in Alaska's Cleveland Volcano, former Gov. Sarah Palin has informed local media outlets that she can indeed see the volcano from her porch, but that her family is safe and sound.
"Oh, yah, plain as day - it's practically in my back yard," Palin said as she offered chewing tobacco to reporters on her front lawn. "Todd and I were out back rustling up some grouse for dinner when we seen the ash and felt the rumblin'.
"So's I thought to myself, There goes ole Cleveland again!" she added. "But then I started yelling for a Code Pompei because who knows what was gonna happen!"
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