- Girl Scouts: The Silent Killers
- Study Suggests Stonehenge Was Prehistoric McDonald's
- Wolfgang Van Halen Sick Of Being Hit On By 45-Yr-Olds
Gingrich Ends Campaign For Book Sales
CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Ann Romney Tells Rally She's "Still On The Fence"
CLEVELAND (CAP) - Despite the enthusiastic speech Mrs. Romney gave in support of her husband during the Republican National Convention, a decidedly lukewarm address she recently gave during a rally in Ohio has political analysts questioning whether she is even planning to vote for him.
Addressing a crowd in downtown Cleveland, Mrs. Romney began by telling the audience that her spouse of 42 years has "always been an adequate husband as well as a passable father" to their five sons.
"Mitt's a pretty good guy, mostly," she continued. "Like many of us, I was a little surprised to see him make it all the way to the nomination - but, you know, here we are."
Ann went on to describe how she and Mr. Romney first met at a high school dance. Despite the fact that she was being courted by several other boys from prominent families at the time, "I think I made the right choice by marrying Mitt, probably," she told the crowd.
"So many times throughout our relationship, I've needed someone strong to rely on - and often, that person has ultimately ended up being Mitt, in some capacity," she added, noting that "he's more or less usually there when you need him, to a certain extent."
Ann went on to remind rally attendees that "we are living in very difficult, very troubled economic times - and these days, it's often hard to know where to turn for help. Do we re-elect our current president, Barack Obama, who by all accounts has done a pretty respectable job - or do we vote my husband over there, Willard Mitt, into the highest office of the land?"
At this Ann grimaced, gestured feebly toward Mr. Romney, and then shrugged.
"The truth is, I'm not even sure what the best choice is," she said. "I know I'm married to one of the candidates, which should make this an easy call for me, but, well ... it's complicated. Frankly, at this point I'm kind of still on the fence here."
The crowd began murmuring confusedly, making it difficult to hear the rest of Ann's remarks, although she did continue speaking. Witnesses later recalled making out the words, "unlikeable robot" and "Obama never pranked his own wife on Mother's Day with a shaving-cream pie" from her increasingly furious and disjointed remarks.
At this point angry shouts from attendees had begun to drown out Mrs. Romney's voice, and secret service agents soon ascended the podium and took her gently by the arms. As she was being led away, however, Ann Romney was heard shouting that at least her husband does usually remember to put the toilet seat down.
"I guess vote Romney!" She yelled, just before her mic was cut. "He'll always put America's seat down."
Signs and bumper stickers with that slogan are already being offered for sale on conservative websites.
Contributing Writer
AUSTIN, Tex. (CAP) - As President Obama marked the first stop on his Middle Class Jobs & Opportunity Tour with rhetoric about boosting jobs and opportunities, he waited until the cameras stopped rolling to get down to brass tacks with the residents who had gathered to hear him speak.
"Listen, you told me you needed help getting jobs, I told you to wear slacks," Obama said. "You told me it was raining out, I got you ponchos.
"Now you're worried about everything you've worked for all falling apart, so I have a simple solution," he added. "Taco Tuesdays."
WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Obama has announced his support of the Pentagon's latest plan to provide a missile defense system for the United States, even though it does not include lasers, invisible jets, or invisible jets with lasers.
The Strategic Dome Initiative offers $1 billion in funding to erect a translucent, impenetrable dome over the continental United States that would not only deflect missiles launched from anywhere in the world, but also meteors falling from the sky and other as yet unidentified apocalyptic events.
"I prefer to think of it as more of a, uhh, force field than a dome," Obama told reporters. "Think Star Wars, not New Orleans Saints."
- Banner Stands» Browse banner stands by Post-Up Stand. Trade Show Displays, Retractable Banner Displays, and more. High quality, 48 hour turnaround time!
- Prom Dresses 2013» Searching for the perfect dress to wear on your big night? Take a look from these styles who top the best-dressed lists all the time!
