Friday | September 19, 2014
New "Speed Humping" All The Rage Among Singles
Also known as Hurry Humping, the trend first appeared at a private party at the Playboy Mansion involving a number of celebrities and busty high-profile models.
TODAY'S TOP STORIES
Kids Not Told To Sit Down, Shut Up Nearly Enough, Study Finds
The study attempts to ameliorate the negative stereotypes associated with angry parenting.
Kanye West Performs In Cemetery, Demands Dead Rise
He also knocked over all the gravestones so the corpses would have nothing to lean against.
New Verizon FIOS Package Records Every Channel All The Time
Customers can turn off recording of the Spanish stations, but the cost remains the same.
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Law Would Make It Legal To Spank Others' Kids
Supporters say communities must come together to curb the poor behavior of unruly youngsters
Obama To Deploy Ebola Patients To Syria
In response to critics, Joe Biden said it's America's way of helping all those librarians.
Mid-West Cooties Outbreak Tops 100
Officials say no outbreak has ever been as widespread geographically as the current one.
12-Year-Old Boy With No Shirt Crashes Celebrity Gala
Host Alexander Wang said he didn't invite the boy, adding "this is New York, not Thailand."
USPS Secures Contract To Deliver Email
The deal covers all major email clients except Lotus Notes, which everyone agrees is junk.
Global Warming Blamed For Thawing Of Nun's Tits
The concern now is that this is just the beginning of what could be a big ole breast thaw.
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